This week’s process asked us to document a physical interaction and compare it to our online interactions.
Can you give me directions?
An older woman approached me on the corner of Main and Broadway. She was looking for the police station (on Cambie and 2nd). I explained that it was a few blocks away, and easily accessible by transit. I told her she could either take the b-line to Cambie and walk down the hill, or she can transit down Main street and take another bus along 2nd. She nodded, thanked me, and was about to leave when I decided to ask her a follow-up question.
“Do you know the buses around here?” She told me she didn’t, in fact, she was a tourist. I realised that she looked tense, and I put a few pieces of the puzzle together—a tourist looking for the police cannot be a good thing. I asked her if she was okay, and she said it wasn’t an emergency, but being lost and talking to strangers was making her anxious. That simple question changed the dynamic of our interaction. That awkwardness that accompanies a conversation with a stranger dissipated and it gave meaning to our interaction.
I talked with her to make a transit plan. I used my phone and showed her the distance between Broadway and 2nd Street, as well as her connecting bus stop. I also showed her the stop at Cambie and the distance from it to the station. In the end she left but the air surrounding both of us was different. She wasn’t lost. She had focus and certainty about her destination, perhaps even confidence. I felt I had not only given meaningful directions, but I had an appreciation for the person who asked. A complete stranger I would not have had second thoughts about is now a real and complex person, whose face I can recall.
Digital Interactions
There are obvious reasons why digital interactions differ from physical ones. For instance:- We lack the sensory perceptions normally associated with physical interaction.
I SEE you, a physical body with extension and mass. - We lack a cognitive association we infer from those perceptions.
I have a body—with a unique inner states like mind, and subjectivity.
You have a (similar) body.
Therefore you must also have (similar) unique inner states.
It was through perception I saw the anxiety of the lost tourist. From that perception, I recall my own experiences of feeling anxious, which gave me an understanding of her and her situation. The result was I saw her as a person, with the similar vulnerabilities and needs as myself. I sympathised with her. This alone would be enough of a difference between physical and digital interactions, however their distinctness is made even clearer by how we perceive our digital selves.
Being anonymous is great when it protects oneself and identity, but since we are all presupposed anon, the distance between us in our interactions widens. Those physical cues that remind us of each other people’s humanity is obliterated and cruelty is often the outcome. Regardless if you are asking a question on Reddit, replying to a loved one’s Facebook post, or uploading a new story to Instagram—We are shitty to each other online. We even expect it! We present ourselves as no-nonsense, take no crap, uncharitable and often falsely assume other people’s intentions. No wonder the internet is a rough-and-tumble place.
Make sure to take breaks from your online interactions, and remember that they are not invocative of the real world. People are often much kinder than we give them credit for, just not online.
